PhD Reflections: Poetry as a Channel of Hope
This morning (20 July), I received a call from my sister. My Mother complained of a medical condition which I presume to be an outlet of the stress she experienced when she took care of my stepdad and his bout for cancer alone for several months. This was before my sister returned to our hometown for good.
Receiving that news and processing the emotions that went through this day were not easy. I was already hopeful to have regained my focus on my PhD writing with a renewed disposition. My sister just graduated from her MA in Education studies last Monday. And yet, after some highs, this came. What I realised is that life can surprise us with different emotions and experiences even in a short span of time. And this is where our resilience, positive disposition, faith and sense of community is important in treading the situation not alone, but with a community. Thank you to my friends, PhD supervisors, fellow PhD students, workmates, colleagues and loved ones who have expressed their concern, love and reassurance to me.
I can also say that I received a miracle as well. Right after the call, I came across on Facebook an invitation for "Rose Garden Rhymes: Poetry in the Park" poetry reading event at the Queen's Park Rose Poetry Garden. I thought that it was a good avenue to channel my emotions - my fears and anxieties; as well as aspirations, hopes and prayers for my mother and for our family. I was amazed by how powerful this opportunity became to allow me express my thoughts and become vulnerable through poetry. I felt deeper solidarity and received hugs and love from people I only met the first time. Some even cried with me after I delivered my impromptu poem and one handed me a beautiful beaded bracelet. Their fur baby dogs even came to me as if they understood and empathised with my situation. At that moment, I felt empathy and love. These experiences were powerful. And I am personally felt grateful to have experienced it with the community I found here in Glasgow.
Below is the transcribed (with annotated context) version of the poem I recited at the poetry reading event. I recited the poem first before writing it. The poem reflects on my personal distance with my family. The poem acknowledges the feelings of vulnerability, brokenness, as well as determination and hope.
6630 Miles
McRhon
Banderlipe I
145 Hyndland
Road
Block ** Lot **, ******* Drive
A total of 6,630
miles
The distance
which has separated me (from my family) a few years back
(Is) making me
(feel) unsure when I can bridge that again.
Birthdays I missed
Christmases I
skipped
To pursue a
dream
People thought
I have missed
I wish I could
bring back
Memories and
opportunities
Thinking how I
(started to) pursued this dream
Exactly eleven
years ago
And as I tread
this journey
I am aware of
the risks
Just this
morning
I was caught
off-guard
(And I began)
thinking how I can go back home
So here I am
Coming here
(to this event)
Finding comfort
and solace
To know that
my poem
Hopes to
become my prayer
And a prayer that
becomes
My source
of strength
To tread
through the day
20 July 2023
Queen’s Park Poetry Rose Garden
Glasgow, Scotland
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